Pictures from Gene :)

Gene and I were able to get together for a brief rendez-vous in New York and did a little more work together in Vegas. It is hard for me to just choose a few of his picture because so many are beautiful, he is a great photographer who captures the real beauty of his models. These pics were from our short shoot in New York. Thanks Gene for everything...

www.genexmagazine.com

So, what now???

Ok, this is a question I think about daily. There are things I love and hate about competing and Figure in particular. At this point there is no way I could give it up, I love having order in my life and goals to achieve. I've gained some realistic expectations this year and am not sure I will ever win my Pro-Card in Figure...Figure depends dramatically on your natural genetic shape. Genetics blessed me with an ability to gain a lot of muscle, lean out well, but unfortunately I didn't get those hips and small waist that the judges love.

I like Figure because I am able to maintain a high degree of femininity, I can also be completely natural and have a comparable physique to the best on that stage. Many of my fellow competitors and friends have urged me to think about bodybuilding. There are very feminine bodybuilders as well, Jennifer Abrams and Debbie Bramwell come instantly to my mind and Jennifer (a known natural) is very competitive even on a National Level. I compete because I want to be the best and I am not sure I will ever be the best bodybuilder considering I will NEVER touch an illegal drug.

Bodybuilding is also more appealing because I will be rewarded for lifting how I love to lift-hard and heavy. After my last show this year I took off a week and eased slowly back into lifting. This past week I have been hitting the weight room with intensity I haven't had in months and I am really enjoying it. My plans for this year are to enjoy working out and see how my physique develops-once Spring comes around next year I will take a look at my physique and see where I will feel comfortable competing. If nothing else I want to enjoy working out and if I can't go at it in the weight room I will feel like I am wasting my time. There are things in my physique I must improve regardless of where I decide to compete so it should be an interesting journey wherever it takes me.

Pics from Vegas

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas...what a way to go out! I had so much fun in Vegas and wish it could've lasted longer though I am not sure my body could have taken much more! Thank you to www.herbiceps.com and www.femflex.com for sponsoring my trip. It was so great to stay in the house with you guys and I truly thank you for including me, hopefully the future will bring us together again.

The show itself went ok, like I mentioned I finally broke into the top 10 (was it because everyone else kept getting there Pro-Cards so it was inevitable that I move up;) ) No I am thankful for the experiences I have had and that I was able to creep up there. The show was judged, in my opinion, much differently then Juniors and New York-the look was a little harder and bigger. Though I didn't flex and thought I would hate my physique, after looking at the pictures I think the look suits me better for figure as my quads get so separated when I flex them. My major issue with my body is still my waist, 27 inches when I am dieted down is a problem in Figure. When I look at the comparisons it is the thing I see first and the biggest difference between me and the girls ahead of me (oh and my flat chest;) but I don't mind that.) My color turned out ok, I used Jan Tana and was sprayed-I think I still look slightly green though it is much improved from last year and Junior's this year.

Pictures From New York

I was probably the hardet I have ever been for this show and I flexed in my poses. After the show I was told by Sandy that I had too much seperation in my quads and I was a "bodybuilder." My color for this show was Tammy Pies competition color and though I liked the color backstage, under the lights I was a little red.

Overall I placed 11th, my best up to this point-it was hard to know where to go from here though other then to try to soften up and not flex in my poses. My favorite part of this show was sharing the experience with Susan Groshek, Tamee Marie, Tracy Redding, Tammy Pies, Amy Peters, Jennifer Gates, Jessica Wright, and all the other great girls that were there.

Bahamas Baby!!!

I wrote this about a month ago and never published it...

WOW! What a great week it has been. First things first....THANK YOU ROE!!! AND THE WHOLE SHOW!!! Friday I was in the WLS studio for the Canarble Wagon and Roe asked me to go to the Bahamas with them for the remote broadcast in September. I've never been to the Bahamas and I am ecstatic!!!! They are even allowing me to bring a guest. Boy we are going to get ourselves in trouble :)

The show has really been amazing to me. Last Thursday when Roe was on CNN Headline News they aired pictures of me at the Gay Games. Who knew that my biggest highlight of the year would be the Gay Games! Especially after it developed after a random phone call to The Roe Conn Show. The Bahamas will be amazing and I hope anyone on the fence about going will try to make it down there!

Now I am trying to reset my focus on this coming weekend. I leave for my last show of the year on Wednesday and am headed for Vegas. We compete on Friday and Saturday. Since the last show I won't be able to change much but due to the judges comments I have not been focusing on lifting. Unfortunately I did get a little stomach sickness over the weekend and took off a few days off training but I should be fully recovered by this weekend and I don't think it will hurt me.

Just so I don't repeat myself, Vegas went decent... I ended up in 9th, so I finally did break into the top 10. Currently I am reevluating my decision to pursue Figure or switch divisions but I will get into that in my next post.

THE GAY GAMES

I WON!!!!!

My first show as a bodybuilder (not Figure Competitor) and I won! Granted there were only 5 of us but is was a great experience. Everyone, well almost everyone, was extremely nice and did not care whether I was gay or not. We started out at 9 in the morning for Pre-Judging. This is where we do mandatory poses and our posing routine. I have to admit I was very nervous about the routine.

Thanks Nicole Moneer for helping me with it, it ended up being pretty good and I didn't forget any of it! Without Nicole's help I would've looked like a total novice :) The other girls looked really good and I wanted to say congratulations to all of you. Training and competing in a show is not easy but everyone did such a great job.

The night show took place at 6:30 and the whole crew came. Unfortunately they just missed my performance but they stuck around for the awards. I didn't realize I was going to be so nervous up there. They announced through 3rd place and took a dramatic pause, my heart was beating fast and then they announced the 2nd place winner was from Oregon (I think) and I was ecstatic! It was so great having everyone there and later at dinner Bill and Roe said they were probably more nervous then me!

The crowd in the auditorium was the most enthusiastic, appreciative crowd I have ever been in front of. The volunteers were all so wonderful to us and my fellow competitors had such class. Thanks to all of them for making this a great experience.

Most of all thank you to Roe and Todd for taking a chance on me, Bill for really supporting me, Jim for our little chat at dinner and Christina for being my future partner in crime :) Bahamas here we come!!!!!!!!! Also thank you John from Blue Stone in Evanston for a wonderful dinner afterward, the steak chipotle quesadilla was AMAZING!

Roe Conn and Team U!!!

Yesterday was really exciting for me. I was on the Roe Conn Show, an AM radio show on WLS 890 AM (www.wlsam.com) because they are sponsoring me for the Gay Games. A little background, I got involved because I was listening to the show about 1 month ago. A man on the show (none are gay) was going to compete in Table Tennis to be a representative from the show. They make fun of everything and this was a way to be involved and "supportive" of the Gay Games being in Chicago but still poke fun at it. Well there is no table tennis and Bill, the man doing it felt badly. Roe went over the list of other events he could compete in...Bill didn't want to because he wouldn't be good at the other ones and wouldn't make the show "proud." One of them was called physique.

I called the show, spoke with the Producer and told them they could sponsor me in bodybuilding and still have someone to cheer on at the Games. Roe liked the idea, had me in the studio a few weeks ago to hammer out details...It was supposed to be a 12 minute segment, we talked over 3 segments. They decided to sponsor me and had me on again last night (along with a rep from the games) to hype it up more. The actual event takes place next Wednesday.

This will be an interesting experience for a few reasons....I've never done bodybuilding for one and I am guessing the show itself will be special. I've been very fortunate to work with The Roe Conn show as they are all very funny and it has been a great experience so far. Being on the radio is a little scary, I can't even imagine what TV would be like! So like I said I will be onstage next Wednesday and will keep you all updated. The event takes place at Northwestern University at the Welsh-Ryan Arena, you can find more info at www.gaygameschicago.org.


So prior to that event I have this weekend to worry about at Team Universe/National Figure Championships in New York. I cannot begin to describe how nervous I am, it is fun and annoying at the same time! This will be the first show I have ever traveled to, I am leaving today for New York and will be onstage on Saturday. Let me tell you that making all my food last night was NOT FUN...I suppose it will be nice to not have to worry about it though.

As far as my conditioning, I feel on though I am still not positive what the judges want. Hopefully with Tammy Pies doing my color (I've heard her stuff is remarkable) my physique will be the focus and after the show I will be able to get feedback on how to improve. Jr. Nationals just seemed to go so wrong and I am hoping that it isn't a repeat performance!

Thank you everyone for your support, I know that the past few weeks have been very difficult for me physically and emotionally and I am happy that I have such great people around me. Only 2 1/2 weeks left for this season and I am really looking forward to getting back to the weight room with added intensity once I am done dieting. Also this past season I have had the opportunity to work with so many great photographers...In the upcoming weeks I will revamp my website (which is much needed!) and add some great stuff.

Thanks again and keep your fingers crossed for me :)

Well as most of you know this past weekend did not go as planned But I have learned a few valuable lessons that I will bring into my next shows and I am looking forward now instead of back. Overall I think I came into the show in my best condition to date. I did make a few major mistakes: my posing being #1 and my color #2. Luckily these are things that I can hopefully work on by New York.

There are a few things I need to change in my physique as well but those will take more time and although I will adjust my training in the next 3 weeks, major changes won't happen until the next time around. I thought I was the darkest I had ever been this weekend but once I got under those huge lights on stage I was a definite whitey. I HATE tanning but sometimes we have to do things we hate to achieve things we want (keep your minds out of the gutter). Also I will be training a little with Mr. Natty O...thank you very much. He will be able to give me some pointers on posing. He will know what to look for and how I can make some adjustments. We trained back this Saturday and it went well, I got to try a few new things.

As far as the changes in my physique that I feel most strongly about: I need better tie-ins from my glutes/hams. Jodi will actually be giving me a few pointers and I will be hitting the plyos/stadiums and switching my leg routines a little now but especially in the off-season. Also I really think I need a better peak on my shoulder. Genetically my shoulders and flatter on top and I need to figure out how I can bring out that upper peak (I may have to "cheat" it in my poses). Other then that I will continually try to bring my calves up and work on streamlining the muscle I gained this last year. As always I love any comments/suggestions and although people always say "don't listen to too many people" it is nice to hear peoples opinions. Like a fine wine I plan on getting better with time-stay tuned:)

Illinois State Bodybuilding

This past weekend was the Illinois State Bodybuilding show. I felt good going into the show and was confident. Looking back I feel my conditioning was on, though I did feel a little flat but my posing was off. Unfortunately after looking at the pictures I am not happy with my presence on stage. It really bothers me because I have been practicing posing for months, taken lots of pictures and I just didn't put it together. It is much better I figure this out now, then at Jr's in a few weeks.

In the end I came out winning my class but not the overall. Even had my posing been perfect I don't think I would've taken the title as the women who beat me was quite a bit larger-in my eyes I felt she was more built for bodybuilding then figure but it was what the judges wanted that day. Hopefully the judges at Jr's will be looking for a slightly different package but only time will tell.

1-piece

Here are pictures of my one-piece which Crystal wants to fix up before she stones it. My first show of the season is in 3 days!!!! I am so excited and cannot wait to get on stage. I'm also very excited to start carbing up tonight:)

2-piece

Here are pictures from last week. I got my suits and after sending my pics to Crystal she wanted to redo them! She hadn't realized the size I put on in the off-season. Sooo, we are having them remade and she is stoning them and hopefully I will get them before this weekend! If not I am not too worried, I'll just use my old ones and save these for the Illnois State show.

Update

Wow, it has been awhile and so much has happened. I'm only 3 weeks out from my first show this year! The season has finally started and I will get to see what my hard work has done for my physique. Got my body fat tested this morning, 9%-a good start. I want to hold that through this month and drop it 1-2% by Junior's depending on how I look.

Training is going well, my strength hasn't suffered too much even though my eight has dropped almost 15 pounds since my heaviest. I am about 126ish right now, hopefully won't go under 120 when I get on stage.

My workout yesterday was great (thanks Christina and Nicole), I can't remember the last time I was sore from a back workout, its great! I switched my pull=ups to a V-bar in hopes to bring my lat tie-ins a little lower, I enjoyed the pull-ups though they remind me of chin-ups, a little different but they are definitely easier then wide-grip pull-ups.

V-Grip Pull-ups: 4x8
Lat Pulldown: 80 (3 sets of 8) last set drop set 80/50/30
Bent-Over barbell row: 85 (4 sets of 8)
Low Row: 80(1/8) 90(2/8) 100(1/7)
Back Hypers on one of those big balls-no weight: 12 12 15 15

I was a little tired going into it, I think the track workout Tuesday took it out of me and my dieting is slightly affecting my energy. Plus I stayed up to read a really good book...one of the reason I try and avoid reading good books when I am dieting! I NEED MY SLEEP!!!

Hope everyone else is doing well and on track for the season.

Thank You

Training has been going well and I haven't been sick lately (knock on wood!). This year has been much easier then last for a few reasons. For one I know more of what to expect. Last year I was so much more moody and things were much harder. I have an established goal and I haven't lost sight of it.

Another major factor in my survival has been the people around me. My mother has been wonderful-I'm turning her into a little workout machine as well. And my boyfriend, well he has learned that this isn't easy and he has really been trying to work with me and not against me. This life isn't easy for the competitor but at least we get to enjoy the end product while our loved ones sit by the side lines. Thank you for lifting with me. Pushing me and during my offseason bringing me donuts in bed (I really miss those days!!!) It is so important to have the people around you be supportive...If they aren't it is like a poison that eats you up little by little.

Something that has changed this past year is my supportive network outside my family. Really I thank you all for being there for me and I hope I am there for you as well. Susan-you are the first to come to mind. When I am having a bad day or get down on myself you are always there to talk me out of it. You've helped me with personal problems as well as countless competition problems, I don't know what I would do without you! I'm excited for us and the good things that are to come. Shane and Joel and Frank, thank you so much for pushing me harder then I thought was possible. I think I like how strong I am as much as you guys do! I always look forward to our grueling leg workouts.

Now onto my girlswho compete...I am so proud of all of you. For those of you who are my first-timers, I can't believe how far you have all come. When we practice posing. or you meet up with me to lift I know you are giving it your all. It is too bad more of you don't come to Saturday morning leg training day (maybe I scared you away!) because I always love your company. I cannot wait to see all of you on stage, it is like I get to compete for the first time all over again. Right now I know you question everything...are you eating properly, doing enough cardio, lifting heavy enough, giving your body enough rest, and the list goes on and on...Yes you are! I can see it every time I see you. You have all made this easier for me because it is like we are a team and are doing it together. Thank you for letting me help.

Frank, Joe, Tim and John-you guys have really helped make this all possible. I know that I could have spent another year training to get on stage in a few weeks but it would not be the same experience without you guys. John, you introduced me to one of my closest friends and allies in this bbing world. You have sacrificed your time to help me and you have been a friend, I can't wait until we shoot again this year. And you Pride boys, what can I say. You embraced me even when I was a little rough around the edges. Thank you for working with me, believing in me and teaching me. As you all know I am now a believer and my physique this year will prove all the claims I have made at expos and to people I met. Thank you.

To my fans...even though there may only be a few of you for now-I appreciate your comments and support. My day is a little brighter knowing that I am helping someone else.

My Stack

Hello all,

Well the Arnold is over and now the shows start. The Arnold was a great time, thanks you to everyone who stopped by and said hi. It was so nice to meet many of you and I hope you will continue to watch my progress over the next few years. Thank you Pride Nutrition for including me in this event and believing in me the past few months.

So, a lot is currently going on as the time for shows is getting closer and closer. This week I am going to really try and incorporate 3 days of easy cardio into my regimen. One day I think I will do intervals with the jump rope that I got at the expo. The very nice owner of Divulge gave me one to try out and I am excited to use it. Although her name escapes me, the former WNBA player I meet at their booth was the most amazing jump roper with the biggest legs!!!! She looked awesome.

What else...oh I have started taking creatine. Pride came out with Kryptonite and even though I don't necessarily need to build more muscle I think when dieting the creatine/glutamine blend will help with recovery and maintaining the muscle I have. For all of you who ask my current stack of Supplements is:

FIRST THING IN MORNING
2 Ammunition
2 NPR
1 Dialed-In (only on cardio mornings)

BEFORE BREAKFAST
2 C-Gone
1 Women's Multi Vitamin
1 EFA
1 BCAA

BEFORE LUNCH
1-2 EFA'S

2 Ammunition (10 minutes before)
PRE-WORKOUT MEAL
2 C-Gone

1/2 scoop Kryptonite right before workout
1 scoop Respect Protein right after workout

BEFORE DINNER
2 EFA'S
1 Women's Multi
1 BCAA

BEFORE BED
2 Ammunition
2 NPR
1 scoop Respect Protein Shake

And that's one day in the life of my supplementation. At first I was slightly overwhelmed but with everything I am taking I know what it is doing for me and I have seen the positive results. If you have any questions about what I do and why please let me know. As most of you know I love helping people and I love talking:)